All of a sudden, I feel lost, I feel confused, I feel... aimless. I used to think I knew what I was doing, what I was going to do and what I would be doing. Frankly speaking, while many people, or some people were so confused and didn't know how to plan their future after high school, I was one of those who had already planned ahead and knew so clearly how I wanted to shape my future. I followed my plan; I entered a college, pursued a pre-U course which was enough for me to be qualified for the degree programme I wanted to take, so smoothly I completed and continued with the Psychology degree programme. Two more days, I'll be starting the second semester of my first year degree.

I just went out with Jackie and Chew, had a drink in SS2 Murni. They talked about their careers, jobs, businesses and many many more. Chew said he's now starting up his own businesses and thus he's very busy recently. He said he wants to achieve something while he's still young. He shared his thoughts, his ideas and his plans... and then, I started to think, what I want to do when I'm at his age?

All the ambitions(yes, this word definitely sounds lame), dreams, plans and thoughts I had had before, now I no longer desire. I begin to think, is psychology what I really want? Is psychology the future I desire? If you are my friend, I bet you know psychology wasn't my first choice. 

I love arts. I love music, I love dancing, I love speaking, I love social. And psychology? Maybe it's just my choice of career. Ok, I'm not being arrogant or anything, but I guess I have to find out what I really have and what's strong in me. I think I really enjoy arts, like music and dance. I am interested in speaking too, for example being a host or MC? I think I have that little talents? At the same time, I kinda found that I have some talents in business. I always think, or dream.. I wanna do something GREAT while I'm still young, probably before 27? I don't know... But how? HOW?

Maybe we should define GREATNESS first? To me, as long as it's something not any random someone can achieve and something special... well nono... that sounds so wrong... Erm... something colours my life? Yea, that's what I mean.

So, should I invest my time and effort in just psychology? or music? or dance? or speaking? or business? But tell me, what can I do after getting a degree in psychology? There's no way out unless I invest more time and money into the master's degree. And I seriously haven't had the picture of my future of being a psychologist. A clinical psychologist? Have my own clinic, diagnose problems and give treatments? Or an industrial organizational psychologist? Set up my own firm, find clients, give trainings? Or a counselor? Work in a non-profit organization, listen to people and stay there forever? The others like what forensic psychology, educational psychology, developmental psychology or bla bla bla, I'm totally not interested at all.

Then what?

Yes, I'm pursuing a degree in psychology currently. I guess I won't change programme or anything, cause in the end, it's just a certificate, a paper. It doesn't tell you how your future will be, what job you will be doing eventually. But at the same time, I will not stop learning what I think I'm good at and exploring what I have in me.