After all the glamorous moment, I am back to the misery. Same mistake happens and happens again, it’s never ending. Give me a break, PLS. How much tears do I need to cry over things that you all have done to me? How strong I have to be, to get hurt and recover from the things that you all have done to me? Whether you do it on purpose or not, it does not matter anymore. It hurts me in anyway. Yes, go ahead and make mistakes, but the same ones shall not be repeated. Why am I here to be hurt? Why do I expose myself to be hurt? Yes, it feels great to have people cheering for you, screaming their lungs out and giving the biggest applause, but after all, who remembers me? Not even those whom I performed with will remember me. Tired and sick, again and again. I really want to quit, when you encourage me to stay, you are telling me to expose myself to painfulness. I suffer mentally, emotionally and spiritually very much from being ignored, abandoned and left out. If you insist to think that I am such a person, then fine, I hereby declare once again, I need attention. 

God, you understand me, you know me, pls tell me what to do and how to feel